Madonna/Whore
L called to say he hates the references to lapdog and lion that it reminds him of the Madonna/Whore complex that he said all us women bristle at and he and his male friends for years have been stewing over what women want – the sensitive man, the strong man, what?
I said both. If I was just Madonna, what healthy man would want me? If I was just the whore, ditto. But a balance of both is what both sexes need and want. It’s when one takes a dominant stance that it becomes unattractive. And what I was trying to say is the lion should coexist with the lapdog, but instead what I have been experiencing is one aspect overshadowing the other, a split personality rather than a coexistence of the two, which is heartbreaking because it’s like Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. And that is when it becomes an overarching issue.
Maybe L and I could collaborate on a book – not the kind of black and white self-help guide from the guy from Sex and the City who wrote “He’s Just Not Into You” or the retort that she’s just not into you either but rather the more complicated call and response of man to a woman and vice versa that represents a need for any of us to summon the appropriate persona in response to a call for action. And to allow both sides of us to flourish, or all sides, because women have the lion and lapdog persona too.
My greatest fear is seeing a beautiful aspect of a man being eclipsed.