Black Swan Down

I met my park friends this morning while walking the dogs; it’s been a while because I’ve been walking later than usual but now am getting back to my early rise with the help of the higher dose of meds. I learned the black swan died – agh – I just ached when my friend told me. But the park has replaced Mr. Smooth with two young black swans and there they all were – the four of them – the two whites elders and the two black leaner ones. Oh joy times four. My lucky number.

My friend had split with her partner of 24 years – she cried, I cried. There in the park while another stopped and hugged me and whispered, “Cancer?” and was reassured when I said no and as our local politician lost her cell phone and came by calling herself with her other phone. And then I went back to my friend with the tears. She said her partner was never happy, and so we spoke about what happiness means while we watched the four swans gliding on the lagoon.

She said happiness is living by the Four Agreements:
1) be impeccable in your word
2) don’t take it personally
3) don’t make assumptions
4) always do your best

My friend was given the gift of good parenting and she came to know herself much sooner in her life than I did in mine. I had parenting to overcome as well as embrace. I hope to parent differently and yet the same. It’s the paradox of living.

I have my own four agreements posted on my desk:
1) notice the good
2) listen to the positive voice
3) open your heart
4) accept what is

On the way home, I had a moment of grief over the black swan who passed. He had always done his best.

2 Responses to “Black Swan Down”

  1. Marta Szabo Says:

    love this too: everything happening at once: the grief over the black swan, the new swans joining the remaining swans, the politician and her phone search (surreal), and then the moment of grief arising again — uh-oh, I am enjoying your writing very much.

  2. Rachel Says:

    Hi Marta – welcome and thanks, I appreciate that coming from another writer. I might need to come take your workshop to finally do that book or memoir or whatever it is that is calling to me.

Leave a Reply