Five men and a baby
Vignettes:
The dinner guest: so there is this guy I have seen around town for two years, tall, thin, blonde curly hair, if I had a type, he’d be my type, and so I see him out at the square on Wednesday and a friend says let’s go introduce ourselves and I’m like no. She goes up to him anyway as I walk away and turns out she knows him. Knows him from a friend’s party where afterwards she actually made out with him. So next thing is the friend (whose party he was at) says to me, have a dinner party, I’ll bring him. So I have a dinner party. But sometime between the planning of the dinner party and the actuality of it, another friend stops by who has been out of town for the last year and casually asks, “are you dating anyone?” and when I say this guy is coming to my house for dinner she says no way, he’s a freak, I hate him, you can’t go out with him. So before I even get a chance to say hi, he’s written off the list. But we have the dinner party anyway – and when he calls back – everyone feigns indifference and the dinner party proceeds without him. As I said, the reputation is all you got as a calling card.
Man #2 – so I was at a New Years Eve party and met this guy who I instantly liked. Great guy. Started seeing him around and always felt a great connection. Last time I saw him I got his number for the housewarming party and then thought I’d call him to come to my dinner party this past Friday. Only my cell phone broke, and the new one for some reason didn’t transfer over his number. But knowing his last name, I called information and left a message for him on what I thought might be a different phone number to call me. No response. So then the new phone that was replacing the broke phone broke before 24 hours had passed and so I had a new new phone and they were able to find my old old phone and transfer the numbers and lo and behold, he appeared on my contact list so I called him and explained the whole old phone, new phone, information number, dinner party, housewarming party thing in a voicemail message and never heard back from him. So last night at the dinner party I said to the friend who had done the intervention on man #1 that I hadn’t heard from man #2, who she also knows, and she said sheepishly well maybe, that is because I told him that you think he is cute and are attracted to him. And I said, ___, I am not attracted to him in that way, I like him as a friend. So now I’m thinking okay did he not call me back because I sounded like a psycho with the whole three phone break down scenario, or is he not calling me back because he thinks I’m hot for him, and either way, his not calling back is not good.
Man #3 – so there was this guy that I met with a friend and she had the hots for him and I was in a mode of thinking of not having the ability of having the hots for anyone, but then months went by and we saw this guy again and he was falling all over my friend but now I actually thought he was nice and cute and so I called him and asked him if he wanted to come to the dinner party, not because I had designs on him, but simply to have some new people and especially a man for my friend who likes men around, and he never called me back. Only she emailed him, and he emailed her back to say he meant to call me back but he was busy. And so I never heard from him, and I ended up being pissed at her for emailing and vexed at him for not returning my phone call and at the end of the day, i thought what does it take to just be courteous in this ever increasingly harsh world?
Man #4 – so last night we are having the dinner party with the guest of honor not coming because he was blackballed, the other invite not coming for god knows what reason (he had his kids this weekend), and the other guy not calling because he thinks I’m a psycho stalker or want him bad, and so who shows up but my Moosey at the 11th hour and when everyone left and he and I were sitting on the front porch, he said, imagine us 40 years from now sitting here. And i could.
Man #5 – so today after someone left her phone last night which caused a lot of angst and phone calling but to no result, M came by to get the phone to bring to her friend, and we sat on the front porch and M loves to watch the fish jump out of the bayou and she apologized for telling A that I think he’s cute because he now has the wrong impression of what I feel for him (friend) and she said that she wants to introduce me to this guy who she has been hot for forever who is an artist, has a daughter, and is age appropriate and I said you know what? I’m done for the weekend, there has been too much about men, and not enough about just enjoying myself, so thanks, but no thanks, no fix ups. I’m fixed, and don’t need fixing.
Oh and the baby – so at lunch today, the couple sitting across from me wanted a baby, but couldn’t get pregnant so are on an adoption list, but not sure they want to adopt given their marriage is on the rocks, but they were talking about another woman, who wound up pregnant with a guy she wasn’t sure she wanted to be with, and so she is having the baby, but pushing him away, he wants to be included, and is feeling left out, and they thought maybe both need to see Knocked Up and I just thought, is anything easy?