Accentuate the Positive – Eliminate the Negative
So N woke the Bean and I up this morning ringing the doorbell and her arrival in the AM has been signalled by “I know it was a 44” from Who Shot The LaLa – an interesting choice for her to be introduced by – nevertheless, she took the Bean who was reluctant and wanted her toy elephant instead of a walk with Renny and I sat down to a cup of tea and the rest of my O magazine, which this month has been particularly good (five years ago the thought of quoting O would have sent me to my grave, but I do not surround myself with those pretentious thoughts anymore), as its theme is dealing with crisis. I was in midread of an article by an author whose adopted daughter had found her birth mother and I started tearing up right from the get go. I kept trying to shake it off – shrug it off – but it haunts me like nothing else in my life.
I was driving uptown yesterday morning and a memory of Wade laughing real hard when we played knock knock came into my mind all of a sudden and again that old punch to the stomach feeling came over me – that he is gone from my life.
I tried to focus on who is in my life – Jake and Abby – and one coming – as well as others – and I know it is a matter of focusing that will guide me through the days. After all I still miss the “family” I thought Steve and I would create with 10 different miscarriages that all belonged to the same dream.
The Bean came back and quickly picked up her elephant and licked my bandaged foot. N handed me a lucky bean that she had gotten yesterday at the St. Joseph’s altar. I have a lucky bean was what I thought as I looked at Arlene, whose two different colored eyes signify good luck here in the south.
I read this this morning –
QUOTATION OF THE DAY
“Why me?”
KATHARINE MOSER, who discovered she carries the gene for Huntington’s disease, the incurable brain disorder.