On April 14, 2023, I was on the phone with my friend, Brian, who lives in New York. I call him Possum. He said he needed an accountability partner, someone to help him straighten up his eating and drinking habits. He asked me to be that person. At that moment in time, I was not a model of nutritional, healthy living. When I was running around during an event and not having time to eat,…
I began writing my blog in 2004, because my work as an investigative journalist on Wall Street had consumed me. I was desperate for a creative outlet. I was writing elsewhere – morning journaling, a couple of essays on Medium: ode to my truck, the challenge of parenting my son. But it just seemed each time I would come back to my blog. Entries in a blog have a feeling of smoke and mirrors to…
Yesterday, was a day for the books. More was revealed about the person who had made me sad, and a few conversations led to a deeper connection, more unearthing of our truth. A conversation with Tin helped me understand how he is where he needs to be most and ended with I love you’s that he initiated. Lunch with a dear friend and dinner with two others and once again, I claimed my stake in…
In my past facilitation work we always used ice breakers. Some of my favorite ones were everyone telling the group where their name comes from. Naming is a laden task not only for babies, but for pets, and perhaps houses and camps, and maybe even cars. Naming the feelings that come up with names is also a thing. Another ice breaker – and this one I saved for seasoned groups who knew how to check…
I’m going to create a journal that has JOY on one side and PAIN on the other, and then I could just make a list. While I was in Arizona for this past visit with Tin, our cat, Lord Chill – Chilly, Chilly Willy Ding Dong, the chillest dude on the planet – went missing. I got home with my heart in my throat wondering and worried. Then as I was checking Wild Thing for…
Urban Dictionary: Do it “for the plot”: the conscious decision to see yourself as the main character of the story that is your life. You maintain the outlook that every moment – good or bad – is merely a plot point for your larger narrative. You are the writer, producer, director and star of your life. Start living unapologetically and give them a plot twist that no one saw coming. I did a vision quest…
I’ve come to feel a connection to Tucson. When I enter the stark desert light and drive past saguaros that look like phantoms, trees more barren than lush, and rock and gravel front lawns, I smile now. At first I was surprised by it all – an alien landscape, I called it – but now it is familiar. I was cruising down a main street lined with palo verde trees in brilliant bloom – a…
I lost all of my hair in early 2012. A friend had a book that correlated feelings to a physical condition and hair loss fell under humiliation. I hadn’t considered this feeling in the chaos of feelings I had at that time, but in hindsight it was appropriate. Leading up to my hair loss was a laundry list of loss – divorce, career, babies – it was a heady list that made losing my hair…
Over the last few years, a lot of my therapeutic work has been somatic. A friend suggested I read How to Stay Human in a Fucked Up World by Tim Desmond. On page 139, Desmond says a friend asked him, “When is the first time you can remember feeling exactly like this?” This is some mind blowing work. If you could go back in time and locate a reaction to an event(s) where you were…
Today marks two years since I decided to stop drinking. My mom was an alcoholic and people in my family have died or continue to live under its influence. I have married alcoholics. I have fallen for alcoholics. I have been attracted to alcoholics. I was fond of saying I am not an alcoholic, though I could be a lush. It wasn’t until I faced the truth of my son’s needs that I was able…
