I spent the evening with a friend who is still grieving over the death of her toddler daughter and she seemed to feel as if everyone was ready for her to quit grieving since it has been two years. I asked her how long grief lasts? Another friend was telling me that her partner is still grieving over the loss of his father five years ago. Is New Orleans still grieving five years after Katrina? I’d say it haunts us most when something else happens like the BP spill, almost as if we could have lived through the end of the world, but we can’t take one more thing.
I grieved about six years when my dog, Sam, died. Grieved in the sense that I couldn’t remember him without welling up and could barely utter his name. It wasn’t like Sam was the best dog I ever had, it was more than when Sam died, the years of my life died with him – he was a bridge between me and my new life in California. I grieved my father for at least a decade if not more. And I think I’ll most likely grieve my mother’s passing as long as I have grieved my maternal grandmother’s passing – for the rest of my life.
A couple of weeks ago, I met a woman in Spain who was driving when her husband and young son were killed in a car accident. That was seven years ago and she just recently bought a pair of sexy panties because she met someone. That bore into my mind a sign that the human spirit is resilient, but I still don’t have an answer for how long grief lasts.