I met a woman on the island of Lastovo in Croatia many years ago. She had retired to that isolated place because she inherited her father’s house there. She said she had everything she needed – I asked what that was? – she said “Two chairs. One to sit in and one to put my feet on.”
Sage advice to the still young-ish.
Today, I woke anxious. I was thinking about walking into my next chapter, since I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and energy. And even starting to write down scenarios. And discuss with a select few my options. I wanted to call my friend who I call when I go in-depth on things that I’m mulling over to talk about all the options, the outline, the memo, the ideas, the vision, the dream, and instead of calling – after I read my Affirmations for adult children of alcoholics, Courage to Change (AlAnon) and Tending Dandelions (Tending Dandelions: Honest Meditations for Mothers …) – all of which have become my morning devotionals, I noticed that I was being asked to do something else with this day. Each page I read encouraged my presence and asked that I focus on now-ness today.
Today, is my day to be present.
My neighbor came over to help me change a lock, put my irrigation system back together after the freeze, move the standing heater, the picnic table, along with other to-do things this place requires. I was finishing up when another friend was driving by – one who has told me that something is wrong with my future plans which had caused me to doubt what I am doing – only this time, I was ready. Like a petulant child, I responded with, “No, that is your perspective, not mine!” Another friend stopped in with family to see the Hall and I was relieved from protecting my boundary duties.
I began sweeping all the dead leaves from my driveway, and I noticed something. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. The air was crisp. Every person near and far was at a Mardi Gras parade.
And I had three chairs right there. I rearranged their arrangement. Then I sat in the red one and put a leg up on each of the white ones and right then and there, I created now.
I don’t want to be a futures trader. I don’t want to be a day trader. I want to be here, now.
This is my training for my next chapter. How to immerse myself in now-ness. Today I got an A+.
