We had friends over again last night for some porch hanging, dinner and conversation. This was after a long day that started with Zumba, then segued into a child’s birthday party complete with all the kids on a fire truck that went around the bayou with its siren on, lunch with friends at Baru, a little shopping for a baby gift for my neighbor’s new granddaughter, lots of cooking by our out of town guest – I made salad of roasted pumpkin seeds, spring lettuce, small cucumbers, goat cheese, and cold pressed pumpkin seed oil from Istra, Tatjana roasted red and green peppers, and our guest cooked up her specialties – tortilla española and gazpacho. Friends brought awesome Spanish wine (Viña Real Rioja 2007) and another brought Brocato’s lemon ice.
But it’s early morning and I can’t sleep having fallen asleep like a house on fire. It’s the usual wake up call – a dream that reminds me of something else and next thing you know my mind is excavating, pondering, all with some vague dread that seems to color my nights when I’ve extended myself and there hasn’t been anytime to let my mind wander during the day.
There were moments though when the world did seem just about perfect yesterday – seeing Tin wake up with his short hair and now enormous eyes and feeling his little body crawl up onto mine (Mommy, remember when I was in your pouch?”), lunching with friends at Baru and having this feeling of being lost in gal talk (as one said, “I drive by here several times a day and am always jealous of the people sitting at the tables enjoying themselves, it feels so good to be one of them right now.”), and nightfall on the porch of the LaLa with the moon almost full surrounded by a gauzy aura – the bayou lit up from the porch lights and bright sky – friends telling stories, reclining, laughing.
Is it too much or just enough?
Doubt sees the obstacles. Faith sees the way. Doubt sees the darkest night. Faith sees the day. Doubt dreads to take a step. Faith soars on high. Doubt questions “Who believes”? Faith answers “I”. ~~ William (Harvey) Jett