It’s interesting that every person I have spoken here in this city has said they are trapped in Ohio. Seems to me it would be an easy decision to get in the car and go but most of them cite family and friends making it impossible for them to live anywhere else. Considering I live in a city with family I never see, I don’t truthfully understand that as a reason to stay in a city you don’t love – but then again, everyone has their own motivations.
I was speaking to a mother about how I have brothers and nieces who live in the same city that I do who barely or not at all know my son, Tin. While it seems unfathomable to people from the outside, I don’t internalize the sadness because I can’t. This stranger asked me why and I couldn’t really articulate it. Years ago my nieces quit speaking to me because one of my niece’s husbands said some pretty ridiculous things about me that they took as gospel and there you have it. My oldest brother was never really speaking to me or anyone to begin with and my younger brother disappeared after barely making an appearance in my life again. And so what do I say to living in a city with family who does not know my family – their loss is all that I can think.
I do believe we are entering some interesting times where people are going to have to wiggle out of the conventional skin that has held them to jobs, living arrangements, identities, groupings and I told this mother that I for one only let people into my hub if they love and support me. If not, I don’t have time for those who want to hurt or blame me for their problems.
The world is full of many different kinds of people, but the people who are meaningful to you are familiar from the get go and never go out of style. Would I stay in a place where my people were – yes indeed, I have, that’s New Orleans, but it’s not the people I would have predicted would make up my inner circle especially after moving from California to be close to my family.