Sunday we did the hokey pokey at the wedding and last night, when I got home, and after putting Tin to bed, we set up a table for the boiled crawfish on the porch and sat outside on a beautiful evening to celebrate the remains of what was a very pleasant birthday. Good wine flowed, conversation was easy, and the crawfish were exceptionally tasty and zingy with spices. Afterwards we had cupcakes from Cake Bakery – all yummy to the last crumb (if there was a crumb left).
The theme of the evening was good friends and setting expectations. Last year when a family member asked me to be the bigger person in some family drama, I opted out. Yes, I could be the bigger person, but honestly I’m not interested in making this situation easy for the person who created it. So rather than letting go of the problem, I let go of the people who chose the wrong side of the argument.
So the jury was undecided as no one could agree on the question I posed for them last night – should I or shouldn’t I – there was the typical and dare I say lesbian argument for including everyone and their mother in your life no matter what, and there was the argument to do what feels right for me. I’m choosing the latter. I have come to the conclusion after years of trying to be all things to all people, that there is a need sometimes to compartmentalize a few areas of your life and as Jerry Seinfeld said, “Never let the two worlds meet.”
The thing about pondering these types of things is that they are elastic, there is not a one shot or else moment, instead these are issues you work in and out of during a lifetime of figuring it out. But sitting across from four dear friends last night on the Lala’s porch with the bayou to my back, I must say I must have figured out something right a long time ago to have been treated from dawn to dusk as if I am someone special.
So again I say Happy Birthday to me and god bless the people who love me (they do so at their own risk).