I was underneath the canopy of the giant willow tree in an area we call the grove, but that is a euphemism for a place that never sees the light of the sun and is usually damp and buggy. There I was in the grove and as I came out towards the sun, I saw the feathers – they were white and grey and shaped like a V with downy white puffs of baby feathers…
Yesterday, an American bald eagle soared above the Hall and landed on the cell tower. When I was a young girl, bald eagles were an endangered species. They were listed by the government in 1978, a year after I graduated from high school. What followed were nationwide conservation efforts that included the banning of DDT, and by 2007, bald eagles were removed from the federal endangered species list. Several years ago, I did a vision…
So many times I’ve wanted to call my mother since she died. Today, I lay down in the green grass by her grave and let the sun shine down on me. I changed her flowers (thanks Martha at The French Potager). I brushed the sand off the black sentry dog. All the feels squished into one plot of land. My grandmother’s grave is behind my mother’s. Two women – two forces – in my life…
I’m wondering how you tell someone how you’re doing when there is no real word for it, no simple phrase for it, no cliché for it, and the truth is so multi layered – even one of my closest friends, Susie, struggles to remember each detail that is intertwined with a narrative so dynamic even I struggle to encase it in an elevator pitch that might make sense to someone who simply wants to know…
The infant’s face turns purpleHis first display of anger The mother yells and threatensThe boy’s anger masks his fearThe mother abandoned his formulaTheir hunger will follow him The little girl’s face freezesHer first visceral reactionThe dad yells and threatensHer paralysis masks her fearThe father postured and struckTheir terror will follow her Pivot: The new mom smilesShe can’t help but fawn Pivot: The boy yells and threatensHer terror trapped so deep Pivot: The teen strikes the motherOur karma…
I’m living in a world where everything that I used to reach for has become uninteresting. And I’m trying to suss out what is interesting to me. And I don’t have answers (yet). I was always the one who loved arriving at happy hour to have that first glass of wine with friends. I loved the warmth that would spread through my body as a delicious glass of pinot noir worked its way down my…
Note to self: I choose growth over fear. When I was in Bisbee, AZ late last year, an oracle said that she saw me on the back of an eagle, and I was able to look down and around with my super power, which was the ability to pivot as needed. Once again, I have found that pivoting is getting to be a muscle I’m having to use more often than I had hoped. Today…
On August 3, 2024, my son was admitted to Stonewater Adolescent Recovery Center. His use of marijuana to deal with trauma was unsustainable. He did well at Stonewater, and I might add, they did well by him. It was recommended by all those who cared about his progress that he go into a therapeutic boarding school for an extended period. I chose In Balance Ranch Academy because it involved equine therapy and music and art.…
I’d like to move away from social media and know my friends privately. While I talk to my son about how screens are another form of addiction, I death scroll nightly through my phone looking at Instagram as if it held the key to knowledge and understanding. It does not. My knowledge and wisdom are vast, but I don’t treat my encyclopedic experience as if it matters. I read a post on Instagram and take…
(Turn Around)Every now and then, I get a little bit lonelyAnd you’re never coming ’round(Turn Around)Every now and then, I get a little bit tiredOf listening to the sound of my tears(Turn around)Every now and then, I get a little bit nervousThat the best of all the years have gone by(Turn around)Every now and then, I get a little bit terrifiedAnd then I see the look in your eyes Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie…
