For a few decades, I was convinced that my life was an interminable cliché. Any breakthrough, epiphany and light that went on would immediately be mirrored in a book, film, or someone else’s (read: more famous than me) reality. Then it seemed my life more closely resembled the myth of Sisyphus, condemned for eternity to roll a boulder up a hill only to watch it roll back down. Sisyphus was punished for self-aggrandizing, and I,…
A friend gave me a 5-year mom’s journal five years ago. I have kept up with it because you can only write a sentence or two a day. It’s a gem I will hold onto if only as a reminder that some things change, and some things do not. I took down the breakfast cup I bought in an antique store in San Francisco many moons ago. It’s precious and my fear that it will…
Step 1 – Don’t panic. Step 2 – Morning walks in nature. Step 3 – Meditate. Step 4 – Have a close cadre of friends at the other end of a text, call, email. Step 5 – Bike rides along the water with people you love at a distance. Step 6 – Enjoy the respite.
I try not to be a harsh critic of myself. I know too easily how it’s a slippery slope into outright condemnation. The voice that speaks to me when I look in the mirror is an awful judge. After I’ve crossed over into 60 last year, I’ve noticed every possible flaw my body holds – my once beautiful skin is now wrinkled, thin, marked. My once thick arms and thighs are dappled with curdled fat.…
Not your plans. This was told to me one time in a community meeting – Follow your spirit, not your plans. How many reinventions have I had? Joan Didion said, “I can’t remember half the people I used to be.” Reinvention is reinforcement against a world that is forever crumbling. Everyone is rushing back to their lives, I don’t want to go. I want less cars on the road, less scheduled time, less pollution, less…
Do you know someone who has had a challenging life? You think why her and not him? We are all born with amnesia but more than likely this person was standing in line when they gave out assignments and she raised her hand and said, “I want to be challenged!” Perhaps her previous life she was like a house cat, sitting around waiting for something to happen. But she decides to take on a bigger…
This weekend, a friend of mine drove out to Bay Saint Louis to get out of New Orleans for a respite with her young son. She stayed with other friends here. She is part of a great love story that had a painful twist. The father of her son – the great love of her life – died of cancer without him ever seeing their child. On my walk with Stella this morning, I listened…
Yesterday, I witnessed the unprecedented – the price of oil dropped to negative $40. While oil price gyrations send shock waves throughout too many industries to name, let’s talk about what it means to me. At the end of 2011, I was laid off from a company I helped build where I covered Global Media along with a wide array of other industries. When I left, two long-term clients came with me. Within a year,…
This often seems like the most difficult question to answer – whether it’s what do you want this day to be or what you do want your life to be. World peace rolls off my tongue, but as to what Rachel wants, I’m often stumped. Maybe I wanted this messy life, filled with love and beauty, trials and error, poetry and trash memes, friends who stay, friends who come and go, friends who leave, indelible…
Yesterday was the last night of Passover and I’m still eating matzo. This morning, I made my Earl Grey Lavender tea, broke a piece of egg matzo, and put some blackberry jam my friend Kim gave me for Easter. Yes, it’s all a mash up. I had something old – the bread of our affliction, I had something new – Kim’s blackberry jam, I ate it sitting by a pillow that was not necessarily borrowed…