I remember being in Marin and sitting on my sofa looking out to the large cedar tree in the yard and feeling as if I was underwater – suffocating. I woke this morning in my hotel room in New York with a similar feeling. A feeling that I’m underwhelmed by big things and overwhelmed by the details. It all translates into a sort of all repulse response to just about everything – I didn’t want breakfast, nor tea, nor to go out for a walk, nor to write, or read – it’s as if I was just there, a blob, sitting up in my bed wondering what next. Out my window was a collage of skyscrapers, all lit up, and active in the early morning. Beehives of activity.<\/p>\n
How do people live here? I wondered. One on top of the other. On the 21st floor of the Grand Hyatt, it all seemed like a spooky forest – dense with no air.<\/p>\n
I thought about my mom on the vent – sipping air through a straw is how the vent was described to me – and I felt like I was drawing from the same source. The window that barely opened only served as a flood gate for the noise that was beyond white, more like a disquieting yellow or searching red similar to what Kadinsky used in his art – world in motion noise emanating\u00a0from the street all the way up to my small room.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I remember being in Marin and sitting on my sofa looking out to the large cedar tree in the yard and feeling as if I was underwater – suffocating. I woke this morning in my hotel room in New York with a similar feeling. A feeling that I’m underwhelmed by big things and overwhelmed by the details. It all translates into a sort of all repulse response to just about everything – I didn’t want… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5099","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-1kf","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5099","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5099"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5099\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5104,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5099\/revisions\/5104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5099"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5099"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5099"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}