{"id":22354,"date":"2025-04-15T08:08:22","date_gmt":"2025-04-15T13:08:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/?p=22354"},"modified":"2025-04-15T12:38:44","modified_gmt":"2025-04-15T17:38:44","slug":"two-years","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/?p=22354","title":{"rendered":"Two years"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Today marks two years since I decided to stop drinking. My mom was an alcoholic and people in my family have died or continue to live under its influence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have married alcoholics. I have fallen for alcoholics. I have been attracted to alcoholics. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was fond of saying I am not an alcoholic, though I could be a lush.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn’t until I faced the truth of my son’s needs that I was able to articulate the way I want to be present for him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then it became a desire to be present for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And after me, it has become a desire to be present to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And now here I am two years later, and I have a wish that I could go back in my life and live most of it wide-eyed, sober, and present. I wish those moments when I made a bad decision because I was drinking that I could unwind and reconsider who was going to be hurt by my actions. I wish I hadn’t relied so much on alcohol to help me traverse difficult moments, people, emotions, desires and decisions …<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two years sober I can tell you that I still dance, I still am a wild child at heart, I’m high on life most of the time. Not much has changed about me except that I am soberly aware and present. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t miss drinking – not one day – not one minute – and I wish for all my loved ones who struggle with alcohol that they too will come to know the serenity the comes from choosing not to dull your senses, but instead to go deep into each one and live all of them. Your experiences will set you free. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am free. <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
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Today marks two years since I decided to stop drinking. My mom was an alcoholic and people in my family have died or continue to live under its influence. I have married alcoholics. I have fallen for alcoholics. I have been attracted to alcoholics. I was fond of saying I am not an alcoholic, though I could be a lush. It wasn’t until I faced the truth of my son’s needs that I was able… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-5Oy","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22354"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22354\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22358,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22354\/revisions\/22358"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}