Darlene has taken over Cliff’s mail route and I have not received a piece of mail since Cliff left. What goes on? I asked D and she said, I thought you moved. I just wanted to beat my head against the mahogany column of the LaLa house. Then yesterday Darlene was sick and another mailman was delivering and he said I had no mail because Darlene had sent it all back. Why I moan, I don’t know, since N still hasn’t received a stick of mail since returning in December. <\/p>\n
Tonight’s fashion show outing got cancelled because G sank into a lowly depression – her funk is funky. Meanwhile N said she broke down for the first time in the classroom reading Prufrock – “I don’t know why, but when I got to the part about “watching my greatness flicker” I just fell to pieces.” We all know why – starts with a P, then a T, then an S. <\/p>\n
I bit my tongue today when someone told me, “I have nothing to say to you” because I almost blurted out, a “thank you” will do. <\/p>\n
Later, I wrote Manifesto #1 by the bright afternoon light and I must admit it is brilliant – so brilliant S wants me to help her write hers. Even though it was inspired on the heels of a deluge of thoughts she has shared with me of late. I’d publish it here but it is clearly intended for me and me alone. But it ticks off truisms that build towards a powerful crescendo and then the end, the last line of the manifesto shines bright as Venus on the mountaintop. Or maybe Diana, the goddess of wisdom, would better represent the conclusion drawn by this manifesto. The words are built on anger in the face of not owning up to responsibility – i.e., When I was young, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things. <\/p>\n
On more mundane matters, I told the contractor that nobody has worked on the LaLa all week and that ain’t right. I haven’t heard back from her. Then I called my plumber to see where he has been and he played a practical joke on the phone – I said to him, you must be really bored M to be messing with me this way – now get to work on my house. My a\/c guy never called back. And so the saga continues – one step forward, two back, two forward, three back, and so on – it is called the LaLa ChaCha – and I do it every day. <\/p>\n
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock<\/p>\n
S\u00e2\u20ac\u2122io credesse che mia risposta fosse
\nA persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
\nQuesta fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
\nMa perciocche giammai di questo fondo
\nNon torno vivo alcun, s\u00e2\u20ac\u2122i\u00e2\u20ac\u2122odo il vero,
\nSenza tema d\u00e2\u20ac\u2122infamia ti rispondo.<\/p>\n
LET us go then, you and I,
\nWhen the evening is spread out against the sky
\nLike a patient etherised upon a table;
\nLet us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
\nThe muttering retreats
\nOf restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
\nAnd sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
\nStreets that follow like a tedious argument
\nOf insidious intent
\nTo lead you to an overwhelming question \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6
\nOh, do not ask, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What is it?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nLet us go and make our visit.\t<\/p>\n
In the room the women come and go
\nTalking of Michelangelo.\t<\/p>\n
The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
\nThe yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
\nLicked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
\nLingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
\nLet fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
\nSlipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
\nAnd seeing that it was a soft October night,
\nCurled once about the house, and fell asleep.\t<\/p>\n
And indeed there will be time
\nFor the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
\nRubbing its back upon the window-panes;
\nThere will be time, there will be time
\nTo prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
\nThere will be time to murder and create,
\nAnd time for all the works and days of hands
\nThat lift and drop a question on your plate;
\nTime for you and time for me,
\nAnd time yet for a hundred indecisions,
\nAnd for a hundred visions and revisions,
\nBefore the taking of a toast and tea.\t<\/p>\n
In the room the women come and go
\nTalking of Michelangelo.\t<\/p>\n
And indeed there will be time
\nTo wonder, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do I dare?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do I dare?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTime to turn back and descend the stair,
\nWith a bald spot in the middle of my hair\u00e2\u20ac\u201d
\n[They will say: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How his hair is growing thin!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d]
\nMy morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
\nMy necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin\u00e2\u20ac\u201d
\n[They will say: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But how his arms and legs are thin!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d]
\nDo I dare
\nDisturb the universe?
\nIn a minute there is time
\nFor decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.\t<\/p>\n
For I have known them all already, known them all:\u00e2\u20ac\u201d
\nHave known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
\nI have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
\nI know the voices dying with a dying fall
\nBeneath the music from a farther room.
\n So how should I presume?\t<\/p>\n
And I have known the eyes already, known them all\u00e2\u20ac\u201d
\nThe eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
\nAnd when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
\nWhen I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
\nThen how should I begin
\nTo spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
\n And how should I presume?\t<\/p>\n
And I have known the arms already, known them all\u00e2\u20ac\u201d
\nArms that are braceleted and white and bare
\n[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
\nIt is perfume from a dress
\nThat makes me so digress?
\nArms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
\n And should I then presume?
\n And how should I begin?
\n . . . . .\t<\/p>\n
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
\nAnd watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
\nOf lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\t<\/p>\n
I should have been a pair of ragged claws
\nScuttling across the floors of silent seas.
\n . . . . .\t<\/p>\n
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
\nSmoothed by long fingers,
\nAsleep \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 tired \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 or it malingers,
\nStretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
\nShould I, after tea and cakes and ices,
\nHave the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
\nBut though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
\nThough I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
\nI am no prophet\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no great matter;
\nI have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
\nAnd I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
\nAnd in short, I was afraid.\t<\/p>\n
And would it have been worth it, after all,
\nAfter the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
\nAmong the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
\nWould it have been worth while,
\nTo have bitten off the matter with a smile,
\nTo have squeezed the universe into a ball
\nTo roll it toward some overwhelming question,
\nTo say: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
\nCome back to tell you all, I shall tell you all\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00e2\u20ac\u201d
\nIf one, settling a pillow by her head,
\n Should say: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That is not what I meant at all.
\n That is not it, at all.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\t<\/p>\n
And would it have been worth it, after all,
\nWould it have been worth while,
\nAfter the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
\nAfter the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor\u00e2\u20ac\u201d
\nAnd this, and so much more?\u00e2\u20ac\u201d
\nIt is impossible to say just what I mean!
\nBut as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
\nWould it have been worth while
\nIf one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
\nAnd turning toward the window, should say:
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That is not it at all,
\n That is not what I meant, at all.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\n . . . . .\t <\/p>\n
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
\nAm an attendant lord, one that will do
\nTo swell a progress, start a scene or two,
\nAdvise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
\nDeferential, glad to be of use,
\nPolitic, cautious, and meticulous;
\nFull of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
\nAt times, indeed, almost ridiculous\u00e2\u20ac\u201d
\nAlmost, at times, the Fool.\t<\/p>\n
I grow old \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 I grow old \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6
\nI shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.\t<\/p>\n
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
\nI shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
\nI have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.\t<\/p>\n
I do not think that they will sing to me.
\nI have seen them riding seaward on the waves
\nCombing the white hair of the waves blown back
\nWhen the wind blows the water white and black.\t<\/p>\n
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
\nBy sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
\nTill human voices wake us, and we drown.\t<\/p>\n
T.S. Eliot <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Darlene has taken over Cliff’s mail route and I have not received a piece of mail since Cliff left. What goes on? I asked D and she said, I thought you moved. I just wanted to beat my head against the mahogany column of the LaLa house. Then yesterday Darlene was sick and another mailman was delivering and he said I had no mail because Darlene had sent it all back. Why I moan, I… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-3u","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=216"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}