I was reading a NYT article about a film about an adopted son called “I’m Glad My Mother Is Alive” and of course, like any adopted parent, I read with hesitation as it described the son’s turmoil and anger over having been given up for adoption. Yes I cannot know the future or for that matter Tin and how he will be with himself and his situation. He has a lot to digest when he comes into awareness that he is our child now, the son of older white lesbians in New Orleans. For better or for worse.<\/p>\n
But what also made me catch my breath was the final quote by Lao Tse that you could be good your whole life and then have a moment of madness. Funny how being here in San Francisco for such an extended period of time makes me remember however awkwardly that I had another life at one time or rather several lives here, the one where I arrived in 1989 newly married to my second husband and was going to start anew. The one where I met my third husband. The one where I returned with same from a stint in New Orleans and endured panic attacks over having left my own journey to follow his – the realization that I was marching to my grave unauthentic as I woke from this panic in Marin one day as I looked out over the lush yard that is caused by having 30% more rain on the backside of Mt. Tam.<\/p>\n
Yes, I had my moment of madness, where I undid all that I had done and unraveled a life so intricately woven around my own self-deception that I could forgo my destiny, that I could live in someone else’s dream. So when that one day arrives when Tin perhaps rejects that I took as crooked a journey to become his mother that he took to become my son, maybe we’ll meet right where we are, who we are, and be.<\/p>\n
And that will be that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was reading a NYT article about a film about an adopted son called “I’m Glad My Mother Is Alive” and of course, like any adopted parent, I read with hesitation as it described the son’s turmoil and anger over having been given up for adoption. Yes I cannot know the future or for that matter Tin and how he will be with himself and his situation. He has a lot to digest when he… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13387","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-3tV","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13387","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13387"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13387\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13390,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13387\/revisions\/13390"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13387"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13387"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13387"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}