We can’t buy one thing for a baby until we have the baby in our arms but it’s hard not to get our hopes up. Last time, we followed the same policy but I had bought two little onesies because I couldn’t help myself. When the adoption fell through, I gave them away. I wrote the other day that we are in the clear on hurricane season but learned today that actually hurricane season ends…
Last night, a half hour before our guests were to arrive as T’s conference gets underway, I took a glass of wine and went and sat outside and looked at that near full moon. Again, I counted my blessings by starting with a little ditty that my mother taught me when I was young – “I see the moon, the moon sees me, god bless the moon, and god bless me.” I felt a huge…
Michele said that John Friend had said this during his weekend yoga retreat here: All saints have a past and all sinners have a future. I love that!
It’s that time of year again, post Nov 1st (read: post Hurricane Season), and the heat is gone and the air is crisp and cool, and right at this time of year, when most of the country is starting to put on snow clothes, is when we count our blessings. A November stroll through the park is magical with the cormorants drying their wings in the trees, a Great Blue Heron standing in the shadows…
We don’t do sports in this house. T used to play basketball for Croatia but she hung up her towel a long time ago and has taken to a life of leisure. But the Saints – you gotta love them. 7-0. I spied a neighbor’s newspaper out in front and saw the headlines – we’re on a winning streak. I just hope they finally get to the Superbowl this year – it would be good…
Orphaned Old I feel less lucky since my parents died. Father first, then mother, have left me out in a downpour roofless in cold wind no umbrella no hood no hat no warm native place, nothing between me and eyeless sky. In the gritty prevailing wind I think of times I’ve carelessly lost things: that white-gold ring when I was eight, a classmate named Mercedes Williams, my passport in Gibraltar, my maiden name. MARIE PONSOT
T’s hosting a conference this week and I get to be the professor’s wife. I must admit this is a role I was born to do – doll up, put out a spread, and entertain! I could have been one of those wives to a big important business man husband but somewhere a long time ago even though the life I thought I was going to have was one where I was a contributor not…
I wish sometimes life wasn’t so basic but two days ago I was feeding my mother pudding in small baby bites and making cooing noises at her. Two days ago our baby was almost born prematurely. I lay on the floor in yoga and felt the presence of that child and started crying – a sort of wracked with joy and fear type of crying – I had just completed two hours of downward dog…
I had this very vivid dream last night. My mother was decked to the nines as she was always want to do – even when she was mostly crippled from the peripheral neuropathy she was teeter tottering on high heels that she should have thrown away a million years ago. In the dream, she appeared at my front door, her hair perfectly coifed, her nails manicured, her clothes crisp white linens. And she had on…
Trying a different approach to Monday – usually it’s zoom out of bed, zoom to the park, zoom to my desk and then zoom through the day. NEW STRATEGY: Slow down, take stock, balance the urgency and priority of all new inputs and take a long deep breath before reacting.