Mom:<\/p>\n
Sorry to keep having the same recurrent argument with you and I don\u2019t like fighting or being estranged so I want to put an end to this dance. But I want you to know that I\u2019m just frustrated. The way I see things is you are getting to a period in your life where the next years are about trying to strike a balance between feeling safe (physically, emotionally, financially) and staying healthy and relatively happy. I have my opinions as to how to modify certain areas of your life and you have your opinions, but we diverge too widely on what to do. <\/p>\n
The problem is age old with us because I continue to hear from you that you need help and yet when I attempt a solution, you shut me down and I end up feeling frustrated and angry and so I keep my distance and leave you to your own devices, and then everything is hunky dory for a time but pretty soon the cycle starts up all over again. This cycle has been in effect pretty much our entire life. When I moved to California, the distance helped to ameliorate a lot of this but since I\u2019ve been back home, I feel we are steeped in the old ritual that doesn\u2019t serve me or us. <\/p>\n
The reason why it is more amplified now is that I have legitimate concerns about your well-being \u2013 from your living alone to your health and material soundness, which all in my opinion require attention now to modify them. I love you, which is why I try to nudge you to a path that will ensure you are living well and that when issues come up in the future, we will be prepared to meet any challenges together. I get frustrated when you don\u2019t accept my invitation to sit down and find a solution and yet don\u2019t offer up your own solution to the issues arising now or even provide a plan for issues that will come up in the near future. <\/p>\n
But you have your life to live your way and must thrive or not based on your own choices and decisions. I need to back off and let you be. So that is what I\u2019m going to do. I am not going to try to plan for your wellbeing or try to insinuate my help, plans, organization, or whatever onto you. I\u2019d rather us meet and participate in a more neutral relationship. <\/p>\n
However, I do have a request and that is I don\u2019t want to be pulled into topics where I don\u2019t feel comfortable just being a bystander. Your economic well-being and your health and your safety are all matters in your control, not mine. What you do about them is the consequence of your choices and I am not going to allow myself to feel responsible about the outcomes of your decisions. <\/p>\n
I\u2019m leaving some literature here on Medicaid that I pulled off the web and also an article on depression. <\/p>\n
Love, R<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mom: Sorry to keep having the same recurrent argument with you and I don\u2019t like fighting or being estranged so I want to put an end to this dance. But I want you to know that I\u2019m just frustrated. The way I see things is you are getting to a period in your life where the next years are about trying to strike a balance between feeling safe (physically, emotionally, financially) and staying healthy and… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-XE","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3698","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3698"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3698\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3698"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3698"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3698"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}