{"id":20505,"date":"2015-03-04T11:42:07","date_gmt":"2015-03-04T16:42:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/?p=20505"},"modified":"2015-03-04T11:58:51","modified_gmt":"2015-03-04T16:58:51","slug":"walk-that-walk-of-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/?p=20505","title":{"rendered":"Walk that Walk of Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yesterday, I challenged<\/a> others to keep their hearts open and by the afternoon, I was put to the test. As a Teacher of Love<\/a>, I first have to be a student and so when the phone rang, with that old familiar ring tone, my heart leapt at first, but I did not answer. Sty was calling<\/a>, [ringtone: Anthony Hamilton’s Cool<\/em>] saying he has struggled without me, saying he is sorry for whatever it was I think (read: know) he did, and he loves me still and could I please, please call and just talk it out, give him a chance to explain. <\/p>\n

I felt torn, because my heart is tender towards him, and perhaps he was just behaving in a way that has worked for him in the past, even though it simply does not work for me. I thought about in how parenting Tin I’ve learned to be firm and fair. Loving even when I don’t like. And so here was my test, could I take this man who brought me such love and joy and ignore him. Ignore his message that said he was missing me, loving me, and suffering? That felt heartless, not loving. <\/p>\n

But, I wanted to protect me too. One side of me said, “He did me wrong<\/a>” while the other loving side of me said, “He did me good<\/a> many times.” I had to remember who this man was for me – where he came from in my cosmic story – what the intersection of him and me was about – and I had to admit that I too, missed him. <\/p>\n

Never you mind, I do miss him<\/a>, but I am getting over him because he stepped out on me, which I cannot abide, but also because our investment into each other’s future looked very different from what we invested in the now. So I sent him a text after all, a loving but firm message from my open heart. <\/p>\n

This was my text to him: <\/p>\n

Sty – thanks for calling – I do miss you and feel your heart and body are imprinted on my heart and body. I do not want to rehash that weird night and I’m sorry that you feel you were not given a chance to explain. The truth is you awakened my heart but I want something different – I want a man who only wants me – I’m a jealous woman and that won’t change. I don’t want to talk right now – I’m just healing my heart and I’d rather more time before we speak again. I hope you understand and know that I am grateful for the love we shared and want nothing but the best for you.
\nSent from my iPhone<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In the end, I had to go back to being a student of love. How do you balance love of self with love of others? What is love? Does it have a time limit? If you only love for three months, does love go away after that? If a person loves to his or her capacity, is that not love? <\/p>\n

Remember my axiom: Meet people were they are at, even if where they are at, is not where it’s at.<\/em> [copyright: me]<\/p>\n

Sty did not respond. But he knows my heart is true – to him and most importantly, to me. <\/em><\/p>\n

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Yesterday, I challenged others to keep their hearts open and by the afternoon, I was put to the test. As a Teacher of Love, I first have to be a student and so when the phone rang, with that old familiar ring tone, my heart leapt at first, but I did not answer. Sty was calling, [ringtone: Anthony Hamilton’s Cool] saying he has struggled without me, saying he is sorry for whatever it was I… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-5kJ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20505","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20505"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20505\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20510,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20505\/revisions\/20510"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}