{"id":20327,"date":"2015-01-27T10:00:13","date_gmt":"2015-01-27T15:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/?p=20327"},"modified":"2015-02-02T18:07:22","modified_gmt":"2015-02-02T23:07:22","slug":"the-intersection-of-love-and-loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/?p=20327","title":{"rendered":"The Intersection of Love and Loss"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My friend text me last night and said: &#8220;Woman, I&#8217;m going to kill you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>What did I do?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You knew that man was trouble from day one, so why are you surprised that he lies and cheats?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>The willing suspension of disbelief.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Girl. Uh uh. You know you&#8217;re strong, yeah.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Here is a photo of me being strong by <a href=\"http:\/\/gusbennett.4ormat.com\/new-orleans-people-project\" target=\"_blank\">Gus Bennett<\/a> &#8211; this is my Tai Chi bow &#8211; a fist for strength covered by a soft hand to present my force to the world.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dangermond.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/10806341_349073235277385_5030840181476112233_n.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"20328\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/?attachment_id=20328\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dangermond.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/10806341_349073235277385_5030840181476112233_n.jpg?fit=960%2C960\" data-orig-size=\"960,960\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;Gus Bennett,Jr.&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;Gus Bennett,Jr. \/ All Rights Reserved 2014&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"10806341_349073235277385_5030840181476112233_n\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dangermond.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/10806341_349073235277385_5030840181476112233_n.jpg?fit=640%2C640\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dangermond.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/10806341_349073235277385_5030840181476112233_n.jpg?resize=640%2C640\" alt=\"10806341_349073235277385_5030840181476112233_n\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20328\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dangermond.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/10806341_349073235277385_5030840181476112233_n.jpg?w=960 960w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dangermond.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/10806341_349073235277385_5030840181476112233_n.jpg?resize=150%2C150 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dangermond.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/10806341_349073235277385_5030840181476112233_n.jpg?resize=300%2C300 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The morning after Sty slept with another woman I was walking down the bayou and a taupe-colored Challenger pulled up to the red light. The man was yelling something to me but I couldn&#8217;t hear so I got closer and closer to his window. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Are you married?&#8221; <\/p>\n<p><em>How old are you?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;40!?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>I could be your mother if I had started early &#8211; now go on.<\/em> <\/p>\n<p>My texting friend picked up the phone and told me: &#8220;You were enjoying Sty too much and you needed to be shaken out of it. That&#8217;s all.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Hmmm, interesting parallel. I had a dream one night with Sty in Destin where my mother walked into the room and told me to &#8220;Stop it, right now!&#8221; Which I thought was odd, given that my mother was a bit of a hedonist herself. The dream haunted me a little, but I couldn&#8217;t make sense of it. <\/p>\n<p>Okay, everyone (alive and dead), I have stopped it. <em>Satisfied<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>I saw the man in the Challenger again this morning and he waved and smiled as if we were old friends as I walked across the bayou with Stella. <em>40 isn&#8217;t that young<\/em>, I thought. <em>One door opens, another closes.<\/em> When my last husband told me he no longer wanted to communicate because he had remarried, I met Sty nearly 16 hours later. When I told Sty I no longer wanted to communicate, Mr. 40 Year Old Challenger appeared in the same time frame, on the same corner where most of my undoings happen (Orleans and Jeff Davis) &#8211; there must be some powerful vibration going on right at that intersection of love and loss. <\/p>\n<p>You cannot let someone in if you haven&#8217;t let someone out. Women refer to this notion as parking spaces. Women have only one parking space and if a man is pulled in or blocking entry or even doing a drive by, it stems the flow of traffic.<\/p>\n<p>So you need to let <em>love<\/em> or the whisper of it (lust) go, so you can wind on down and clear the road . . . <\/p>\n<p>[My texting\/calling friend ended our call with this statement: &#8220;You are strong. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/?p=20325\" target=\"_blank\">You stopped the abuse<\/a>. When a woman let&#8217;s a man use her and abuse her, it snowballs and he goes on to use and abuse. But you stopped the FLOW. Stay STRONG.] <em>AMEN<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My friend text me last night and said: &#8220;Woman, I&#8217;m going to kill you.&#8221; What did I do? &#8220;You knew that man was trouble from day one, so why are you surprised that he lies and cheats?&#8221; The willing suspension of disbelief. &#8220;Girl. Uh uh. You know you&#8217;re strong, yeah.&#8221; Here is a photo of me being strong by Gus Bennett &#8211; this is my Tai Chi bow &#8211; a fist for strength covered by&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-5hR","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20327","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20327"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20327\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20380,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20327\/revisions\/20380"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}