Are We There Yet?<\/p>\n
\u2018Twas the night before Christmas in Bayou St. John
\nAnd not a creature was stirring, not egret or swan;
\nNot nutria, gator, or unclaimed canoe;
\nNot the Councilmembers or Mayor Landrieu
\nIn the midst of whose loftiest dreams butted Head;
\nNot Letten or masked right-hand Mann who was read
\nHer rights, or a stone\u2019s throw from these fallen fellas
\nRay Nagin who\u2019d taken for granite Fradella;
\nNot the exiled head coach of the Saints (this year\u2019s Martyrs)
\nOr the newly hatched Pelican nest of young starters;
\nNot the greatly diminished Times-Picayune staff
\nNow that news fit to print had been whittled in half.
\nAll slept without cares in the Town Care Ignored
\nAs the Christmas Eve stars twinkled down on our shore. <\/p>\n
Then, Ma on her mini-Pad, I on the maxi-,
\nLog off for a long winter\u2019s nap, when a taxi
\nWith TAX in bold letters across the marquee
\nCareens \u2018round the cliff ere it grazes a tree.
\n\u201cCut the wheel to the right,\u201d yells their ruddy-faced leader.
\n\u201cMake the rich ones pitch in,\u201d cries a voice by the meter.
\n\u201cDo ya wanna get fiscal?\u201d one asks near the rear
\nBut though this body talks, clearly no body hears.
\nWhen a school bus and ambulance try to get past,
\nA long Cadillac coupe that is driving too fast
\nHeads them off and in passing emits a sad \u201cwoof\u201d
\nWhich we trace to a kennel strapped onto the roof.
\nBut the instant Mitt stalls, Jindal speeds towards the Hill,
\nHis taillights reflecting a trail of road kill.
\nThen a model-T party proclaims a girl\u2019s power
\nTo send sperm a-packing if she is deflowered
\nOr welcome the gift that will spring from her loins\u2014
\nBut their karma backfires on these backward old boys.
\nThough a small fender-bender dents Hillary\u2019s beam
\nIt\u2019s a bump in the journey to twenty-sixteen<\/p>\n
And the Stateswoman seems not the least bit nonplussed
\nThat McCain, in a road-rage, throws Rice \u2018neath a bus.
\nHe is straddling a fence that won\u2019t stop immigration.
\nAll around, unknown forces are driving inflation.
\nThen abreast of this pile-up on Bayou St. John
\nComes a tour bus, a Gray-line with fifty shades drawn,
\nAnd Petraeus, resigned to this mess he\u2019s All In
\nNext to Broadwell, not Brody, who\u2019s texting the twin.
\nMile High Manning, en route from his new Denver home,
\nDeconstructs \u201cHe who lay with a man shall be stoned.\u201d
\nIn a ditch sits Lance Armstrong with flats he can\u2019t fix.
\nThe poor Dutchess of Cambridge is feeling carsick.
\nHoney Boo Boo chomps down on some more pixie stix.
\nAnd Goodell toots his horn as Drew throws a pick-six.
\nIf the Mayans are right, they have passed the last ramp
\nThanks to charting their course using Apple\u2019s new map
\nWhich has led to this cliff, where they bicker and preen.
\n\u201cCan we make it,\u201d I groan, \u201cto two thousand thirteen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, We Can!\u201d comes a voice,\u201d Yes, We Can fix this business
\nIf we reach across consoles and Keep Chris in Christmas!
\n\u2014Both the Christies and Kringles,\u201d Obama explains.
\n\u201cFor we\u2019re in the same sleigh!\u201d and he retakes the reins.
\nThen he turns on the blinker to take a new route
\nBringing all who will come, and together they shout:
\n\u201cAway, Isaac and Sandy! Up, up, levee systems!
\nAway, away, partisans! Up, those who listen!
\nUp, marriage for everyone, not just for some!
\nAnd, for God\u2019s sake\u2014away! Away, deadly guns!\u201d
\nThen a sign from the heavens appears o\u2019er our shore:
\nCharlton Heston, on high, gives the nod to Mike Moore.
\nAnd we know we\u2019ll be fine if the course that we chart
\nLeaves nobody behind and stays true to the heart.<\/p>\n
~Happy Holidays from Stephany!
\n\u00a9 S. Lyman
\n New Orleans, 23 December 2012<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Are We There Yet? \u2018Twas the night before Christmas in Bayou St. John And not a creature was stirring, not egret or swan; Not nutria, gator, or unclaimed canoe; Not the Councilmembers or Mayor Landrieu In the midst of whose loftiest dreams butted Head; Not Letten or masked right-hand Mann who was read Her rights, or a stone\u2019s throw from these fallen fellas Ray Nagin who\u2019d taken for granite Fradella; Not the exiled head coach… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-4xe","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17436"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17436\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17437,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17436\/revisions\/17437"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}