I looked for shooting stars last night but didn’t see a one. Then the spinning of the afternoon crescendo’d but fell away when the clock struck midnight – later, asleep, the soul fairies entered my dreams and took my soul – morning came with the emptiness – I thought about sending a cry for help – I lay there motionless until Arlene forced me to take her down to pee. Then those damn fairies were back and promptly returned my soul to me. <\/p>\n
There was an 18-hour period of trying to right what is wrong and the wires were getting crossed and our minds were getting cross and we started spinning and then there was a tangle to untangle and so on until it finally righted itself. <\/p>\n
Once I got through the waking up part of the day, I walked down to the LaLa with Arlene in tow and visited with B – there was something suddenly calming about sitting on the front porch talking to him. He said I love you Rachel but you are now in sink or swim mode and I looked at the bayou, that I know is deep in the middle and thought “stones in the pockets?” but it was such a beautiful day – the Lion sun was out, the water was sparkling like brilliant diamonds and the universe kept its spin while mine slowed. <\/p>\n
Good news posted on the door at the Can – internet up this Friday or Saturday. Then a meeting set up with K – N’s contractor and so the day’s agenda started coming together. Got some work in, talked to some people in the group that I needed to catch up with – had a good call with O who threw her arms around me through the telephone wires and then actually late in the afternoon got in a disco nap that was delicious.<\/p>\n
I walked up at 4 to K on the phone in front of the LaLa and had a feeling of control and no spin – instantly liked her and just hearing her talk about what could be done started feeling like maybe it was possible for LaLa to come together after all, albeit at a much higher cost than originally thought so a complete drain on assets but there it is. Felt comfortable with N there to guide the design issues as on that side I am generally clueless. <\/p>\n
So now internet at the Can, LaLa maybe on go, soul back in its cage, and work easier to process and another January day that was incomparable in its beauty – the bayou just gorgeous. Sitting here in the courtyard, temperate evening with Besame Mucho playing in the background. <\/p>\n
I made E laugh out loud with some of the goings on even though I walked in saying it had been a bad bad bad day yesterday afternoon. N had asked me to ask her a question that made her belly laugh – naturally it was linked to what started the spin so at first I was like okay, I’m crying here, do you mind? You got to like it when you can get your therapist going. <\/p>\n
Now to start taking care of myself – go to the grocery and get food – important – cannot live on energy bars alone anymore despite having no appetite for much else – force it. And later this week mom and I will spend some time together for her belated birthday spa day. It’s all goody – it sometimes spins – but when you learn to recognize the signposts you can ride the tide up and down a lot smoother. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I looked for shooting stars last night but didn’t see a one. Then the spinning of the afternoon crescendo’d but fell away when the clock struck midnight – later, asleep, the soul fairies entered my dreams and took my soul – morning came with the emptiness – I thought about sending a cry for help – I lay there motionless until Arlene forced me to take her down to pee. Then those damn fairies were… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-143","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-2j","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=143"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}