Mom and I were talking about the state of things and she kept asking \u00e2\u20ac\u0153how are you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and I snapped and said \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m trying to tell you!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the question grates like chewing glass no matter who asks it. Anyway she seemed not to notice even though I apologized for being testy and said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Honey, I can remember coming to your school when you were in the 7th grade and watching you in the hall walking towards me \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 I remarked even then how you have a great walk, full of confidence, and I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know where you got it but that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s how I always think of you, confident.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Who was that girl? \u00e2\u20ac\u201c I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m confident about these things only: I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what the future holds and not sure I want to know either. <\/p>\n
L and I talked about our past lives this morning as he exchanged poison arrows with P \u00e2\u20ac\u201c in one he told her she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a different woman than the one he married \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 and so is he \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 and so am I and so is S and so is N and perhaps so is V \u00e2\u20ac\u201c it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s almost like everyone needs a reintroduction \u00e2\u20ac\u201c uh, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not that same old silly person still in love with you. <\/p>\n
Listening to Old 97\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s as I put together a playlist for our Bahamas trip \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Girls Trip is the title as the girls are not bringing spouses this year for the first time \u00e2\u20ac\u201c A said no video cameras because she predicts girls gone wild \u00e2\u20ac\u201c makes me laugh \u00e2\u20ac\u201c reminds me of us in Key West a few years ago \u00e2\u20ac\u201c just girls: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Who Let The Moms Out, Woof, Woof\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c now playing: Rhett Miller singing \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m wishing you were here\/wishing I was too\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – music up loud – the new neighbor J who lost his house and everything in it knocks \u00e2\u20ac\u201c kind man \u00e2\u20ac\u201c could you turn it down? \u00e2\u20ac\u201c sorry. <\/p>\n
The buck moth invasion seems to have abated to only dead ones on the sidewalk now. How long has it been since caterpillars hung from the trees and wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t there a big old hurricane or two in between and yet these buck moths found a way to swarm again. An again another fantastic day in the Crescent City in the dead of winter \u00e2\u20ac\u201c need to get out there and take it in and shake off a night of wish fulfillment gone awry. A night of dreamless sleep — I think of Dr. Seuss: “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” <\/p>\n
The statement probably needs a little tweaking to really fit but it certainly alludes to fit and fit is what it was all about 4 me \u00e2\u20ac\u201c r.specs \u00e2\u20ac\u201c plan A \u00e2\u20ac\u201c menu \u00e2\u20ac\u201c more, more, more \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Toady \u00e2\u20ac\u201c grd \u00e2\u20ac\u201c laughter while walking off the planet \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the unnatural coincident with the who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have known \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the bizarre context. <\/p>\n
Then the horns blow \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the new id \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and I hear confusion wafting in with the breeze and the question falls back to Rule #1 and responsibility and I want to say yours is to teach about life not to shield from it \u00e2\u20ac\u201c proceed with unequivocal clarity that there is no blame and resilience will follow naturally, someone already said that \u00e2\u20ac\u201c want to direct him back to that missive \u00e2\u20ac\u201c but when it first arrives I feel an aching overwhelming need to protect, to insulate both of them from hurt \u00e2\u20ac\u201cthen the next: don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want my ambivalence to keep hurting \u00e2\u20ac\u201c let it coexist with your certainty, honey \u00e2\u20ac\u201cliberate yourself from the burdens of the world, you are not the Great Shock Absorber \u00e2\u20ac\u201c stop. None of us are super heros, we are people, feet of clay. But I say hardly any of this and fall back on my oath \u00e2\u20ac\u201c that I cannot be objective so cannot respond. <\/p>\n
We don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have the right wardrobe to be super heroes \u00e2\u20ac\u201c no matter how hard we are pressed into action. Need Edna Mode. <\/p>\n
S said he is glad to not be living in my \u00e2\u20ac\u0153need for perfection\u00e2\u20ac\u009d world anymore. Another S told me in California that this super human tendency was going to kill me. 20 plus years ago K told me he often dreamt he was Superman because he thought that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what I needed. He spent his REM time scooping me out of flaming cars and falling bridges. Note to self: talk to E. <\/p>\n
Switch from Girls Trip playlist to one from N – Wolf Parade \u00e2\u20ac\u201c \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I am my father\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s son\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c is this what haunts u? – my first response \u00e2\u20ac\u201c then next song: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I am not in love with the modern world\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c this is what haunts me. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mom and I were talking about the state of things and she kept asking \u00e2\u20ac\u0153how are you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and I snapped and said \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m trying to tell you!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the question grates like chewing glass no matter who asks it. Anyway she seemed not to notice even though I apologized for being testy and said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Honey, I can remember coming to your school when you were in the 7th grade and watching you in the hall… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-28","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=132"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}