I\u2019ll be on my Homepage for Christmas<\/p>\n
‘Twas the night before Christmas in Faubourg-St. John After bestowing a kiss on the missus Assange hopes his Wiki-leaks won\u2019t wither up; Ere I pull back the louvers to rejoin the missus, \u00a9 S. Lyman\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0New Orleans 25 December 2010<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019ll be on my Homepage for Christmas ‘Twas the night before Christmas in Faubourg-St. John And not a creature was stirring, at home or beyond. The Charter school children lay snug in their beds Their dreams of advancing through State Higher Ed Deferred by their governor, the Oxford Rhodes Scholar Who\u2019d slashed education by millions of dollars While stuffing his coffers for loftier aims Such as Vice\u2014or President\u2014next to his name. Down for the count… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-main"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1kHSD-2Je","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10492"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10492\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10494,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10492\/revisions\/10494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.dangermond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nAnd not a creature was stirring, at home or beyond.
\nThe Charter school children lay snug in their beds
\nTheir dreams of advancing through State Higher Ed
\nDeferred by their governor, the Oxford Rhodes Scholar
\nWho\u2019d slashed education by millions of dollars
\nWhile stuffing his coffers for loftier aims
\nSuch as Vice<\/em>\u2014or President\u2014<\/em>next to his name.
\nDown for the count after holiday parties
\nWere UNO\u2019s Chancellor, dismissed by Lombardi;
\nThe new mayor Mitch, who had balanced the budget
\nThat Nagin bequeathed (though he\u2019d hopelessly fudged it)
\nConfronting a garbage and millage increase
\nAlong with fouled systems, from pumps to police;
\nFishermen; rig workers; cappers of leaks;
\nClerks counting lost records rather than sheep;
\nAnd Who Dats awaiting Round Two with Atlanta
\n\u2014All of them dreamt of the coming of Santa.<\/p>\n
\n(Relieved the repeal <\/em>passed\u2014unless they enlist us!)
\nI draw back the covers and climb into bed
\nWith visions of oil plumes awash in my head.
\nThen, lo, from outside the front gate comes a voice:
\n\u201cDon\u2019t mess with my junk!\u201d it says, \u201cHands off the toys!\u201d
\nI throw back the shutters, and\u2014hark!\u00a0 It\u2019s Kris Kringle
\nHis jacket disheveled, his pants badly wrinkled,
\nHis boots in his hand, by his stockings his list.
\n\u201cSanta,\u201d I gasp.\u00a0 \u201cCan it be you\u2019ve been frisked?\u201d
\nWith a tour group of Facebook friends, Kris and his team
\nAre waiting in line beside scanning machines
\nWhere TSA staffers will pat down their clothes
\nAnd a beam brighter even than Rudolph\u2019s red nose
\nWill x-ray the contents of each one\u2019s belongings
\nAs well as their innermost secrets and longings.
\nThe first are the reindeer, their sleigh-bells and antlers
\nHeld high as they trot two-by-two through the scanners.
\nThen VIP passengers step through the line,
\nSo I read what the magnetic frequencies find:
\nTo not<\/em> have two left feet is Bristol\u2019s big dream
\nWhile Sarah\u2019s is winning\u2014then quitting\u2014as Queen;
\nFor Bullock, it\u2019s husbands who do<\/em> have your back;
\nFor Ruler Kim Jong, it\u2019s launching attacks.<\/p>\n
\nFrom the pit of his ticker, Vick pines for a pup.
\nHis pants on the ground, a beaten-down Favre
\nEnvisions a photograph greatly enlarged.
\nThere are Chilean miners who dream of Signoras,
\nAvatar creatures that yearn for Pandora,
\nBugs with a yen that no mattress can snuff,
\nAnd girls who aspire to get tattoos of Puff.
\n<\/em>The meat-stole on Gaga, the booze Lindsey smuggles,
\nThe whereto of Lost<\/em>\u2014give the scanners some trouble,
\nAnd Bush\u2019s Decision<\/span> Points<\/span> tracing his thoughts
\nThrough two grueling terms illuminates naught.
\nThe passions run high around mosques and Don\u2019t Tell<\/em>,
\nThe barrels of oil from the Deepwater well,
\nThe Health Care Proposal, tax cuts for the rich,
\nThe Tea Party\u2019s wisdom in backing a witch,
\nThe first lady\u2019s right to keep kids in kids\u2019 sizes,
\nHer husband\u2019s compulsion to make compromises.
\nAs the scanners infiltrate the wall posts and apps,
\nThe statuses, boxes and albums\u2014 I ask,
\nDoes Face<\/em>booking flights on a Christmas Eve night
\nDelete all the passengers\u2019 privacy rights?
\nWhere does default lie?\u00a0 Where will it end?
\nThen Bette Midler texts back: \u00a0U got 2 hav frnds<\/em>!
\n\u201cThe feeling,\u201d sings Kringle, \u201cIt\u2019s ho ho\u2014so strong!\u201d
\nWith this holiday sentiment, out steps Kim Jong:
\n\u201cI\u2019m changing my Profile\u2014I\u2019ll \u00a0work for World Peace!\u201d
\nThe Quarterbacks vow that they\u2019ll be like Drew Brees.
\nThe rich will save schools with their hefty tax breaks;
\nThe Glee<\/em> cast, with Gaga, will sing away hate;
\nThe bed bugs announce, to a great round of cheers,
\nThey\u2019ll be dining in Farmville, beginning next year.<\/p>\n
\nExhausted from all of this networking business,
\nI see Santa pause while the downloads install,
\nAnd, lifting his I-pad, write this on his wall:
\n\u201cKeep your status in check and don\u2019t \u00a0un<\/em>friend your friends,
\nYou can\u2019t have enough!\u201d \u00a0\u00a0And, with that, he hits SEND<\/em>.<\/p>\n