Dangermond.org

There are so many things that seem to be having a boomerang effect lately that I’m wondering if I flew into a time warp somewhere between Istanbul and Shanghai. Caught up with an old colleague of mine for drinks this evening and you’d think that the meeting in and of itself would have just been a pleasant how are you doing – instead it shed light on some of the goings on that one might be privy to on the outside, but for some reason not on the inside, and most of these facts have head shaking reverberations and make me feel as if a lot of the work I’ve been doing is all being sucked into a huge vacuum.

Alas, these things must be put in the category of “this too shall pass” as I focus on what really floats my boat and not worry about the inadequacy of others’ decision making skills and the effects they have on my daily life.

Seeing familiar faces today, all day, made most of my day fulfilling, and as far as the parts that were shone a light on – the parts I was blissfully unaware of, but not surprised by, all of those facts belong to a category called – why give a fuck if they don’t? I’ll answer that one later.

For now, suffice to say, I fall back on focusing on what gives me satisfaction rather than carrying the torch for others because in the end the art of selfishness gives back to the greater good eventually. Trying to understand things outside of my control is only grist for someone else’s mill.

Long walk to the park this morning that started in the dark. Walking down the streets of New York listening to my IPOD and still the noise was all around me, steam rising from the streets, people everywhere at 5:45 in the morning – the city that never sleeps. The foilage in the park is just starting to look like fall is arriving and there is a smell of cooler air. My Flower writes that she could cry it is so beautiful outside in the midwest. Steve writes that the porch is the perfect place to be with the weather so fine.

Last night, after finally getting to bed pretty late, I questioned the real estate I have given certain people, certain themes, and decided that I had taken my eyes off the goal. So I started thinking about those goals all over again – what are they? – well, in macro terms they involve having a fabulous life. While this might seem like a selfish goal in and of itself – you can only spread goodwill and love if you indeed are enjoying your own life.

Back to the goal itself – the macro translates into micro-goals such as enjoying the work you do every day – I’m finding myself looking ahead, looking ahead in media as looking around is proving fruitless when the media landscape is getting whirred up like a chopped salad.

Physical goals – I’ll do the MS ride at 150 miles but feel like I want to get myself back into a physical stretch every year – 150 miles is not a stretch on the bike. I like higher goals for what my body can do – unfortunately my foot surgery set me back in running but maybe the Beijing marathon along the Great Wall of China in May 2008. I think I’ll give my foot another two months and then start training for this event.

Relationships – want to host more dinner parties and have my friends over to enjoy them and my house. As far as who I am, remember to reign it in for the masses. And speaking of men, well, just making sure that any man I entertain does not end up being a vampire – sucking up my good will and time – always accretive, not subtracting.

Spiritual – traveling enlarges my spirit – keep my eyes open to opportunities to travel the world and meet people and other cultures with an open mind. Also, meditating and centering myself in the now, while the whole world keeps spinning. And on a daily basis, nature nature nature. Charity.

TL is putting a sign up in my front yard. Maybe if all my friends run for political office – New Orleans has a shot.

I held out an olive branch and the Mesmerizer did not respond – yes, he gets year of the pig award – but it kind of makes you sad to know that a lack of fire might also translate into just lacking – in good manners, gentlemen behavior, common courtesy – you know, the things that make any person compelling.

A woman is begged to question her own judgment.

I have not exercised, much less walked that much (due to typhoon weather) since leaving New Orleans – I need to move!

A day of peaks and valleys – of leaving oneself in too many places and finding yourself in old familiar territory. Steve writes from the LaLa porch that the weather is delightful – but he adds New Orleans seems empty. Here in NY, the city is brimming with people – I passed an outdoor bar at 5PM and it was standing room only. There is a continuous din of taxis blowing their horns and a dull hum that never ends – all of this makes me long for home and the serenity of the bayou. Maybe New Orleans seems so empty without me.

or Pig of the Year – either way, there is an award to be handed out for this one.

Sent an email to the Mesmerizer today as a truce against the silence but then later in thinking about all that is and was and might have been – I wonder about myself – I’m over the top as my friend and colleague put it last night and I might be intimidating, I am possibly intimidating just with the whole package – and I said it is what it is. I’m not in the natural lineup of what men want my colleague tells me, but adds, “so what? you don’t want the average bear anyway” – whatever.

Men, can’t live with them – pass the beer nuts.

My I Ching master said I should use a picture of horses or a rising sun as my screen saver on my computer. Before I even had a chance to think about it, Ling Yi sent me a photograph she took while traveling in Mongolia with her father. It’s perfect.