Had some routine test this morning but was holding my breath a little after the doc last week said she didn’t like what she saw – always makes you go, huh, if you don’t like, how do you think I feel? Anyway, so this genial doctor comes in and starts examining me and telling me how he stayed through the storm and did three surgeries during the storm and then it was like dead and…
G and I talked at length last night at Ralph’s about how we are living through one of the biggest events that has ever hit the United States – Katrina. To this community it has changed the landscape more than the depression did. There is talk of us becoming a white-washed retirement community with adjunct tourism. But I just can’t believe that will happen. Or I can’t fathom it happening. It makes everything else pale…
I’m at the threshold of giving up the nicotine yet again – okay, so I have had some lapses – but I think I got it going this time as I have had an insufferable last three days – crying jags that don’t stop – bouts of mania – I exercised twice yesterday because I was wound up like a top – a long run, a weight class – I was throwing off sparks by…
N and I went from 0 to 60 in a matter of two hours – sitting on the back of a pick up truck outside of Markey’s we watched the parade start – led by the elderly man using a walker. After the parade he came by in the walker seeking a smooch from the girls. A man brought me a rose and a kiss and another a green boa. We caught some beads and…
I had to wash the sheets this morning because R was coming to clean up and I noticed that the feather bed has two indentations – one large one from me and one small one from Arlene. That whole other side of the bed is bouyant, weightless. I think I need to change sides every now and then so the bed doesn’t list to the right, or is it the left? I want to get…
I was contemplating Mary Magdalene and the final hours and Noli me tangere – Touch me not – a powerful statement about the confrontation with death, about losing forever the thing you love. It all started on the 7th floor in the doctor’s office when sometimes a place like that makes you contemplate these things. And then I thought about the human capacity to torture oneself with thoughts of the worst case scenario anytime scenarios…
You ever have one of those discordant days where everything is a nonsequitor? I started with the belief that I would create my day – and then N and Renny, L and the boys, and me and Arlene took our walk and the conversation turned to gender studies of the dating ritual and what women supposedly want – the lightning bolt – and L discredited this as pure adolescence and N and I defended it…
Sunday night – N came back without the Snake from Austin and I made her some delicious black drum and cabbage and sweet potato fritters. Yum. It was good to see her since she lives right down the street and we both seem to have our dance cards full these days. So we made a date since the Snake is gone till Sunday – Markey’s for the downtown St. Patty’s day parade – and dancing…
Finished the movie – What the Bleep Do We Know – and highly recommend it. My brother sent me a letter that was somewhat loving but ultimately scathing and said where do you find redemption here with this story – he offered his own where to find it – which ultimately I reject – but it set in motion my thinking about how others perceive reality versus my perception and how to hold onto what…
Yesterday morning walking the dogs with L, we decided to take a longer walk through City Park and coming out the front we came face to face with almost instant death. A large black truck slammed through a red light and came a breath away from crashing into me, L and our five dogs combined. Luckily the truck swerved to the right as hard as it could and missed us. But we all stood there…