Woke up this morning looking like a MACK truck had run me over. After spending most of the morning motivating myself to get out of the house, I went to the gym and then the grocery, and came back to spend the rest of the day hanging out. While hanging out by myself is totally fine, today hanging out with my thoughts was not. Long conversations with S about reinvigorating our work self. She has…
We started off good – go to the gym THEN go to the parade, but half a muffin and Milan, Party, Columns, Markey’s later you wonder what is wrong with you that you would think you are 20 years younger and can go on like that. The parade was fast, rather five of them went by like one parade – rolling by so quickly we were all surprised when it was over just as we…
Stayed up late last night communicating with an old friend and woke this morning feeling slightly off kilter from lack of sleep and the rehashing of bygone days. I say this and I mean it – my emotional reserves are tapped out. Right now I can only concentrate on today and possibly make small plans for tomorrow but that is the extent of my abilities at the moment. Tried to linger in bed to catch…
Wednesday night L came over for dinner, which was delicious by the way. We sat around and chewed the fat and of course, the conversation turned to K and his desire to be the moral arbiter in relationships gone south. I told him to back down. I watched this tendency in my father – I’m right, and let me tell you why I’m right. He was right, most of the time, but at the end…
It is a warm sunny day here in New Orleans – N got me out of bed at 6:15 and so we scrambled to get down for playdate and she and I and Arlene and Renny had a wonderful walk around the bayou. And then I ran uptown to pick out tiles and suddenly felt totally different about being where I am in this point in time – I felt great – here I was…
L called to say he hates the references to lapdog and lion that it reminds him of the Madonna/Whore complex that he said all us women bristle at and he and his male friends for years have been stewing over what women want – the sensitive man, the strong man, what? I said both. If I was just Madonna, what healthy man would want me? If I was just the whore, ditto. But a balance…
Sitting here listening to a Valentine cd I put together for all my valentines – the Snake, L, H, etc – but my Itunes isn’t working right so now I am just listening to it myself right now. The Billy Bob Thornton “I used to be a lion” seems to have been the topic of all conversation today. I used to be a lion, I don’t have to cry to hold my head up high,…
Finally on Sunday, mom was able to leave the hospital and go back to her hovel that is improving somewhat – the street cleaners did a major purge of all the apartment regurgitation along her block. Sunday was a nice linger in the bed sort of day except for a lot of phone calls that kept waking me from my resleep. Then Sunday night was a lovely dinner of green onion sausage from Terranova at…
Crawfish pie last night was delicious – the food is the reason why people can’t leave this city no matter what the circumstances are that they face in staying. We took Blue down to MiMis and were surprised by how few people had assembled moments before the first parade of the season was to begin. The crowd filled out as the parade rolled in but not to any degree that I have seen that crowd…
It doesn’t look like mom is getting out of the hospital yet, she’s still weak and not eating. I laid at the foot of her bed while she slept and listened to the woman in the room next door howling like a wild animal – obviously dementia – mom says her rantings have a pattern that begin with talking to someone, then ranting, then wailing. I kept trying to remain calm as I watched mom…